Just like riding a bike
So I’ve spent the last few days doing research on new tools I haven’t used before (PDO, sqlite, etc.) and it’s gotten me excited all over again. I mean, I haven’t stopped slapping code together, but I definitely had slowed down.
So after some sagely advice from the Kinder in my last blog entry I decided to stop dicking around with half-finished projects and little code snippets and actually do something to get my name out there again. I’d long played with the idea but never finished it - making imageboard software. There is a lack of a good easy-to-install-and-use software available (Anyone who says Kusaba or a derivative will be punched in the nose) at the moment, and they are fairly popular to use… It makes sense.
Got a few interesting new ideas for the imageboard scene, but I won’t really go into detail on that here. But one thing I will say is that at first I was a little reluctant to admit it but I do like PDO. I may not use all of the features in my software but there are definitely some advantages of using it (if you want to know WHAT advantages, use google - there are hundreds of fantastic articles on the subject). The neatest thing, in my opinion, is that I’ll be able to make the software easily switch between MySQL (for which PDO support is not enabled by default) and SQLite (which is, and is quite awesome to boot).
I’ll probably turn to Keith for help with the design, as he’s always been fantastic, but I’ll use the actual functionality to showcase a little of what I can do. Plus this is a great way to spend my copious amounts of free time, much better than gaming.
Eh, just a small hiccup of words to get across what I’m doing. I haven’t forgotten mah blog, far from it: I’ll be updating it again in a couple of days with my college decisions.
The future, what of it?
I know I haven’t updated in awhile, but life has been so damned busy. I’m engaged (the good), got laid off (the bad) and still look the same (the ugly). But what I need now is help from the few readers I have, I have a big decision to make that I never thought I’d have to deal with. Sorry this entry is so long, I tried to keep it as brief and concise as possible while not leaving anything important out.
What do I do? What should I do with the coming years of my life so that the stage is set for the rest of it?
When I got my GED at 16 I never expected to have a chance at college, figured I’d work hard and get wherever I was going and that was that. I think that even through that I’ve managed to end up doing pretty good for myself for the past five years or so. But now I have options, I’m enrolled in a local community college and was presented with a buffet of things I could do with my life. Shit hit me from nowhere.
What I’d like is to lay out my options briefly so you can see what I’m faced with, and I want opinions or thoughts from everyone who reads this. If you have other people who don’t normally read this but could contribute please feel free to pass the link along.
First Option - Who needs a degree?
Instead of taking a full two years to complete an Associate’s degree in a programming-specialized curriculum I could simply take the handful of classes that I’d benefit from and seek independent certification (SCJA, SCJP and so forth). This has the benefit of being much faster (two semesters versus four) and will still give me “a piece of paper”, it won’t be a degree but it’ll be tailored to the work I’d be seeking.
My worry with this is being insanely pigeon-holed versus getting a full associates degree, however surviving for two years while going to school full time is something that scares me a bit. I live on my own and paying bills while going to school would be a little less than fun.
So for people who work in the industry: how differently is independent certification viewed than a full degree?
Second Option - …maybe I need that degree
The same as above, but instead of picking and choosing the classes I want I simply follow the full IST: Programming Specialization curriculum and get my Associate’s. This has the benefit of making me an actual college graduate (not that I think that’d make me a better person, mind) which may help with me being hired at various places.
My concerns are the same as I mentioned in my first option, surviving for two years while going to school full time will be no easy feat. If I went this route or the next I’d probably seek a different living arrangement to make it more affordable and easier so I wouldn’t be running myself into the ground.
Having a degree will open doors, not just in the information technology field either. Not sure if that is worth an extra year, but I want others’ opinions of course. Trying to fully explore my options!
Option Three - I don’t fear the unknown, I punch it in the gorram eye!
So, I’m nervous about two years of full time community college, right? So why don’t we up the ante and flip it to a full four year degree. In engineering. The big daddy of ‘em all. I could get a guaranteed scholarship for the first two years and then I’m quite sure I’d get a lot of assistance for the second two years, but it will cost me more either way. And I’ll be nearly 30 when I’m done IF I do everything perfectly the first time.
However, I’d be an engineer (mechanical, electronic, etc. - doesn’t matter, I’d decide which), the cream of the crop. I’d be able to move anywhere in the modern world and have a well-paying job. I also wouldn’t have to constantly update my credentials and relearn half of what I know every six months, but that’s barely an issue to me. I’d have a more certain future, and possibly a more comfy one.
Then again it’s twice the time as option two, four times as long as option one, more expensive and harder to boot. But I don’t doubt I could do it and do it well. A challenge it would be, but not an impossible one.
You can see I’ve somewhat romanticized the idea of becoming an engineer, but don’t let that get you to thinking that I wouldn’t enjoy being a programmer and be very happy with that kind of life. I absolutely adore programming to any degree and conversely know much less about the engineering lifestyle.
In summation
People who know me will be able to give more personalized advice to be sure, but I will weigh the thoughts and opinions of informed strangers and acquaintances just as heavily. Please give me your most honest advice regardless of how you think I’ll take it, I’ve got tough skin!
And above all of that, thank you for taking the time to read this and reply. This is one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever faced. I’m not giving the decision to anyone else, but I’m more than willing to use your opinions as a tool when deciding for myself.
Truthiness
It’s something I’ve had on my mind a lot lately, honesty. I’m not “ranting” about this because of any particular incident, I’m simply trying to collect my thoughts on the subject here. Reading several different bits of literature on the subject over the day, I’ve come to agree with the first sentence and paragraph of the Wikipedia article (zomg, inorite?).
Specifically the following snippet of the article:
Honesty, at times, has the ability to cause misfortune to the person who displays it. Honesty can also mean fairness, and truthfulness, and the avoidance of misleading people.
This is, of course, without discrediting the preceding sentences. It’s hard to come across something on the internet that is profound and accurate, especially on a site that’s content is literally controlled by one person at a time (as far as each article is concerned, citation needed).
Let me point out that I’m not exactly a nice person, but I follow a very strict personal code of honesty. This means I don’t want to lie about anything, obviously, be it tiny or large. Since I consider omission of truth a lie I tend to speak my mind even when I really needn’t. I say what I feel or what I think if I feel I need to, and it doesn’t matter who that is to or what it’s about. That’s not to say I never lie, but the times I do are EXTREMELY rare and always for a good reason. But the point I’m trying to make is that being honest and truthful is one of the firmest tenets of who I am.
Honesty is something I value highly in others, too. It doesn’t matter what it’s about, if I’m lied to (through actions or words) I lose a very large deal of respect for a person. I don’t care if it’s about something trivial or important, a lie is a lie is a lie. If someone lies about something insignificant, would they really have a problem being dishonest when it matters? Nothing feels quite so disrespectful as being lied to, and that’s part of the reason I want to be completely honest myself: I don’t want to subject anyone else to that, intentional or not. If you don’t agree with me on something or if you don’t like the same things I do I promise I won’t care. A deeper discussion may come from differing viewpoints, but I promise that I’ll have more respect for you if you’re simply honest with me about it.
If you aren’t honest with others about yourself, especially how you feel, what are you? I believe a person’s worth can be (not solely) measured by how honest they are with others and themselves. I really could care less if you’re being dishonest due to insecurities, lack of material or some deeper compulsion. I couldn’t give two tugs about the reasons people lie, any reason you can come up with for a lie can easily be dismissed as a failure in some way. (Before you nitpickers dig into me about it, that applies to my few lies as well so shove off.) So really I measure how much you’re worth by how honest you are to me, and I hold myself to that same standard.
I’m seen as “not very fun” by some people, “too serious” by some and “mean” to others. I don’t really care. I live my life in relative solitude because the rampant dishonesty in people (among other disgusting, filthy things that people tend to do) really leaves me with no desire to communicate with the majority of the human race. I really feel that if everyone was simply as honest as they wanted people to be to them the world would be much more palatable. Screw that “ignorance is bliss” idea, blissful ignorance is ignorant.
Pleasant Manteo
Last weekend my girlfriend and I took a trip down to the beach where my grandparents used to live. We felt that this was justified, even required, as we’ve both been under a lot of stress for quite awhile now. Things have been ever-so-slowly looking up for us the past few weeks so we wanted to celebrate and give ourselves some much needed rest. That’s exactly what we got.
We packed up last Thursday night and left around 13:00 Friday afternoon. This put us down there at about 20:00 which allowed us ample time to enjoy the sounds of the ocean and the opportunity to wade around looking for shells. A wonderful way to wind down after the trip and get ready for bed.
All times are GMT-5 and posted in a 24-hour format purely to annoy anyone who reads this entry. I love you, too.
We spent Saturday driving around and visiting the places I knew, and stuff sure has changed in the past almost-a-decade. It’s kind of heartbreaking to see that the building where I had my first job isn’t even there anymore, but a ton of stuff was almost exactly as I remember it. The Elizabethan Gardens were gorgeous, albeit a bit hot. The nature trail was fun and secluded. We did get mobbed a tribe of mosquitoes, but a helpful staff member saved the day with some bug repellent. Woot. We even went shopping for awhile, then headed home after dinner for some drinks and a movie (Pretty Woman). More time in the ocean and then a long relaxing night of “us” time. Screw you, society!
After spending some more time just soaking up the environment on Sunday (Bodie lighthouse, etc.) we headed home, our heads full of wonderful memories and that wonderfully intoxicating feeling of being with the person you love. It really helped us feel closer and took some of the strain out of our minds, and that’s why we’re going back tonight! We won’t be alone all weekend, but it’ll still be fine.
And because I can’t write anything here without ranting, whoever decided it was a good idea to have a $20 breakfast is fucking insane. And deserves to be shot. With knives. Dull ones.
One in a hundred
So the list of blog topics I was excited about wasn’t as fun as I thought it’d be. Some of them were decent ideas, but none of them really up my ally. But in the spirit of adventure, I made myself pick at least one out.
Number 51. “The Art of Chaos”. Keep in mind that I’m giving this the ol’ “college try”. It’s very likely that I won’t pick a single other item from the list.
I like this topic at least a little because it can be broken down in an interesting manner. Using Ubiquity to define it, I’m drawn to the first two definitions in particular:
1: a state of extreme confusion and disorder [syn: {pandemonium}, {bedlam}, {topsy-turvydom}, {topsy-turvyness}]
2: the formless and disordered state of matter before the creation of the cosmos
Chaos. I like chaos. Pandemonium, bedlam, etc. Alrighty, bring it on. Confusion, disorder, formless state of matter… I really like this! In the sense that a constantly shifting amorphous mass is a thing of beauty, a raw and primeval force, I can see it as “artsy” in and of itself.
But wait a minute, “The Art” of Chaos? Turning something that is the definition of defying definition into a coin-fed entity? No, it’s contradicting. I don’t buy into it. That’s if you take the phrase quite literally and consider chaos as a noun, a thing tangible enough to be drawn, described or sculpted.
But what if you take it more like song and dance, a performance art? These things are extremely structured nearly universally, which is a polar opposite to what chaos is. A structured performance of the lack of structure or form… But you can perform chaotic actions. More accurately you can promote chaos through actions, as any action we take is still going to have structure or form, regardless of why or how these actions were performed.
So I think that if you were to look at it seriously, that phrase is stupendously silly. It’s impossible to look at it and not consider it ludicrous. It doesn’t even make a good oxymoron like “the thunderous silence” (I imagine it said by Danny Devito, because that pleases me).
