Kids these days
For the sake of this article, I’m going to assume you’ve read the following list of rules. If you have not familiarized yourself with them I suggest you do so. Not only do these rules pertain to the rest of the post, but they might one day save your life (if you have not learned these rules at any point in your life you may find yourself facing the business end of a meaty fist on the grounds of general douchebaggery, so I may indeed be saving your life).
I’d enjoy doing a breakdown of each rule and my thoughts on it, but instead I’ll just touch base on a few points. The first point can be gathered from the fact that such a list is needed by youth today: today’s youth sucks the big one. What with the lack of spankings and the onset of teenagers’ unions (They travel in packs!) we’re faced with a pandemic of haughty, generally annoying pimply punks. They weren’t raised with general manners.
When I was raised I was spanked, smacked, thwacked, switched and whatever else was in arm’s reach whenever I did something stupid or wrong. I’ve had bruises, scrapes, soreness and swelling and wounded pride all thanks to my parents at many a point in my life, and I’ll never claim it was wrong of them to do so. Back then I hated it and despised them for how they treated me, but I promise you I’d be in jail for a very long time for any number of things had they not done that to me. Why? Painful lessons stick with you, and help build character. Mostly ’cause they are painful, and fuggin’ hurt.
Which are you going to get more from, eh? A sharp crack to the jaw when you sass your mother, or being sent to your room for awhile. Keep in mind the latter is generally full of Xcubes and Playboxes and tons of innerwebs nowadays, so it’s more a vacation than a punishment. Thought so.
I know kids who are less than 16 and feel their parents “owe” them a car when they turn 17, even though they’ve been kicked out of public schools and refuse to do a damned bit of work even around the house. This is a sharp contrast to another kid I know (albeit a little older, 17ish) who still are trendy and quite badass (as badass as a high school kid can be, at least) who spends most of his free time mowing lawns and tagging along with people to work so that he can save up money.
Do I run into the latter often? No. What’s different about him and the first kid? His parents will box his ears if he screws up, whereas the first one has parents that can’t be assed to make their kids take responsibility for what they do. Burns me up.
Anyways, I hate going into Wal-Mart anytime outside of the lovely 3:00 AM – 4:00 AM range because odds are I’ll run into these little cunts hollerin’ and screamin’ just begging to be thrown through the pizza display. Add to that the fact that I can’t do right by Darwin and remove these blisters from the gene pool and you’ve got a combination that’s enough to give a man ulcers. So really, and I mean this with every fiber of my being, read and learn these rules if you’re in school of any kind. Parents, try to imprint these lessons on your children (by way of imprinting a hand print upside their smug chops) and make them wear some damned belts. If there’s anything I hate more than these little curs being allowed to waste my oxygen (and believe me, I hate them like supermodels hate food) it’s seeing half of some “thug’s” underwear while he’s buying Grand Theft Auto (which we all know is akin to asking the devil to inject his seed directly into your brain via a turkey baster).
Seriously.
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Comments
These reasons and many more, are why I’m in a group called Childfree by Choice. Why, back in MY day when I got sent to my room I read a book! That builds character too. Some kids might try it sometime…
uh oh, I think we just red-ringed…
You be R back!