Htrae – Bizarro World
I was playing around with a few ideas on what to blog about today and decided to put the question to some guildmates from WoW (yes, I still play – sometimes). B was less than helpful, I was a smartass. Pretty standard stuff. Then D gave me an idea that I initially laughed off:
TehBilly: D, gimme a topic to blog aboot.
D: ummm
D: abstinence
TehBilly: I need a topic I’m familiar with.
Gun control, voting, superiority of the female gender – these were all suggested and dismissed (though I did take time to comment on the horrible ability a woman’s nethers has at swaying the minds of men). Abstinence was revisited, and I decided to run with it (after another suitably snarky remark)
D: I still think you could write about how you would handle being abstinent
TehBilly: A blog entry about suicide might get people talking.
This got me to thinking about how I felt about the idea for reals. I started having sex at the age of 15 (my 15th birthday to be exact, go me!) and haven’t looked back since. My first moments of awkward groping and disjointed coitus taught me one very important fact about myself: I really (really) like bumping uglies with the womens. Only through forced reclusive time periods (jail, military, etc.) have I had any period since then where I haven’t been knockin’ boots with one woman or another. And there have been quite a few, and no I won’t divulge the exact number in such a public locale.
Over the years I’ve learned many things about sex and what it does to individuals, couples and situations.
I have been cheated on. A lot. I’m talking one girl slept with four other dudes in an extremely short time period. Four other guys that I knew about. And many others had single jaunts with such-and-such or so-and-so, but my initial statement is the most important part: I’ve been cheated on. A lot. Some of my lowest moment are drawn from the discovery of infidelity and learning to cope with it. Protip: I’m extremely poor at coping with a partner’s infidelity. I’ve gone into murderous rages, lost motivation regarding just about anything I’ve been into at the time and other such drastic emotional swings. All brought about by the same thing I dig so much: a bit of beaver bashing.
Then again, sex has strengthened relationships and helped propel me groin-first through getting past/over/around many of my juvenile wiles. My pog collection became much less interesting and personal hygiene became much more important in my life, for example.
Morally, I see nothing wrong with pre-marital sex. I may be slightly biased as I’ve done more than my fair share of fornicating, sod off. That’s why it’s my opinion. My only hangup is sex with virgins. Why? Because I’ve noticed a trend: one of a deep (if irrational) emotional attachment with their first physical partner. For two people who believe in waiting for someone they care about already this could be quite teh awesome, however many a heart has been broken due to a callous and uncaring bedmate.
Despite it’s many hangups, pitfalls, dangers and misery I would not want to change a bit of what I’ve gone through. I’m not a sex-centric freak, but it has indeed helped shape me into who I am today. Life isn’t clean, pristine and safe. Everyone, in my humble opinion, needs to be free to explore life’s dirty secrets and discover things on their own without having the mystery neutered and sterilized before being force-fed into children before it can become “dangerous” to them. That’s how 90% of the world’s adult population was raised (Wanna stick a penny in a light socket? Sure, go ahead. You’ll only do it once!) and holy fuck we’re all still alive!
I fear for our species should we continue to “protect” children and teenagers from making their own mistakes and learning on their own. How the hell are they going to know what to teach their children when the knuckleheads who stuck their hands in the fire are dead and gone?
Screw abstinence. Screw it with the pulsating phallic presence of freedom.
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Comments
I’m glad you don’t have regrets… I think I regret everyone I’ve had sex with since the beginning. It has a way of depressing the shit out of you for the few minutes of bliss. I think that if I could look back at myself at seventeen I would explain that sex isn’t everything. Give me a long last strong relationship over sex any day. The more people I sleep with, the larger the number gets and just makes myself more disappointed with me. There can be something said for waiting for that special person to share that with. I think that’s why you see a strong attachments with virgins. That’s pretty much the way it should be, can you imagine how strong a bond would be that was formed with two virgins? *sigh* Something I”ll never know and that I regret. Stupidity and hormones are to blame I guess. I guess I should have been paying more attention at church then trying to get rid of my virginity.
Ok, I am responding as I promised I would.
Abstinence? How I feel about it? Quite frankly, I don’t believe in it. Sex is healthy and a big part of a healthy relationship. Now don’t get me wrong certain things have to be in place…….a relationship for one. I’m not a a gal that would hook-up after meeting someone at a bar.
I too, lost my virginity rather early, 16 to be exact if I remember correctly :) I was totally in love – the kind of love that surely will last forever. Naive as they come. I haven’t had alot of relationships since then either. I’ve been through alot of pain and have sort of built up a wall. But when the times right, sex will definately be apart of ok, again I will say it “relationship”
Those holier than thou people who preach abstinence scare me!